>> Monday, January 17, 2011
I have been walking Marley since she came to live with us. Before that I wasn't doing much of anything. Marley doesn't love going to the backyard by herself and I worry about her getting enough exercise because she lays around much of the day. Oh the life of a dog. Saturday Matt only worked half a day and after I got Ruby down for her nap I grabbed the yellow dog and went for our normal 3 mile walk. We got to the top of our hill and Metallica came on my iPod.
Gimme that which I desire
I began to run. The song was blasting in my ears urging me on. It felt good. The cold air burned my chest but I kept going. I felt so alive. More alive than I have in months. I felt strong. And then I started crying. And crying. I can only imagine what the people that passed us in their cars were thinking. It was not the "I feel sorry for myself" cry that I have been doing but it was me crying over our loss. It felt different and so hard to explain. It was a cry that I will probably do many more times. I am so far from healed inside but I want to say thank you for all the wonderful comments, emails, and phone calls from my breakdown last week. Each one of them meant the world to me and made me know that I am not alone like I feel so often.
I wouldn't have been out there had it not been for the yellow dog. Can Marley be helping this mama heal? Maybe this big girl came into my life at this time for a reason. She got me to get out and do what I love again. She is by my side even when my babies blow me off to go and play in another room. I don't know the answer but I am sure glad that she is here with me.
The above shot was taken on Sunday. Marley does not wear that pack when we go out but I brought my little camera with me in case I saw something I wanted to take a picture of so we threw it on her. I did find something that I wanted to take a picture of - Marley. Do you know how hard it is to run and take a picture at the same time?